Autumn Leaves for My Best Friend: Retno Kawuryan

Posted on October 17, 2008 by altbug.
Categories: Uncategorized.

today i just knew that my best friend died of cancer yesterday…
nobody told me about this and that she had this cancer for maybe more than 3 years now…. she didn’t tell me, his husband didn’t tell me, my other friend didn’t tell me…. they just assume that as her best friend i would know about all these….

2 weeks ago she called me with her cheerful voice and saying she missed our hanging out times, and ask me to hang out with her and her 8 year old daughter, just like the old days… i had it as a rain cheque, not knowing that it would be the last time i will ever hear her voice again….

rest in peace my friend, i didn’t know that you have those heavy burden on your shoulder…. find peace…. let these falling leaves be your last sheet… and my memory of you will linger forever… your beautiful soul is as warm and colorful as these falling leaves….

ROAD LESS TRAVELED

Posted on February 9, 2008 by altbug.
Categories: poems.

ROAD LESS TRAVELED

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference

Robert Frost

Butterfly

Posted on December 8, 2007 by altbug.
Categories: Contemplation.

Fy the caterpillar dance slowly on the leaves

"what a life"

"what a life"

eat, drink, and sleep…

eat, drink, and sleep…

see…

God loves me

He made the leave my bed

He provide all that I need….

eat, drink, and sleep…

I live on a bed of roses…

with trees as my roof…

I am well provided

I am well protected

….

….

and one day it came

when he woke up and he was in a thight place

"O, God…. where am I?"

"Why the world got so dark?"

"What is this that surrounds me"

"I can’t stand this God"

"I got to break free"

….

he fought…

he strugled…

hard…

he almost faint…

he cry…

Fy the caterpillar ask God…

"O God"

"O God"

"Where is my beautiful bed of roses?"

a crack of light broken trough

he can breath again

he find air again…..

he streched his arms as wide as he can

"I’m free!!"

a breeze swept him…

"whooops"

"aw-aw-aw…..I’m falling from the leave"

he tried to reach the leave…

he tried franticly moving his hands……

"aw-aw-aw…….what happen?"

he went up and up and up

pass the leave where he was

pass the shrub where he was

he went up and up and up

and he can see the whole garden……

then there are some butterflies fly arround him

"hey Fy…… you areone of us now"

one of them said…

Fy floating on the air….he couldn’t fly correctly yet

"me…..? a butterfly???’

"yeah Fy" another butterfly said tho him

"me…..? a butterfly??????"

a breeze flow under his new wings….lifting him up higher…..

"yeah Fy…..

the Butterfly….

embrace your destiny

….you were born

…..to become a butterfly"

said all the other butterfly

they fly around him….cheering

"come on fly.. Fy!!… you are a butterfly!!!"

Fy flap his ne wing…

yeah

he can fly

he starts to believe it

he fly all around the garden

"O see…. O see…. flowers…. see… God trully love me!!"

"He gave me wings… and He make me fly!!"

"Look flowers! Look!!!! Doesn’t God love me???"

=))

Fy the butterfly

The Fellowship of “The Ring”

Posted on August 15, 2007 by altbug.
Categories: Uncategorized.

Seluruh dunia terkena sihir Harry Potter…….bahkan seri terakhirnya telah jadi seri termahal dari seluruh seri si harry……….masih ada yang ingat Lord of the Ring?

Mungkin film Lord of the Ring sudah lama berlalu dari ingatan kita, adakah yang masih ingat nama – nama para hobbit yang saling bekerja sama membantu Frodo? Beberapa penggemar mungkin mengingatnya dalam waktu satu detik, beberapa yang lainnya barangkali membutuhkan beberapa detik, dan bahkan ada yang serasa memilikinya di ujung lidah mereka, tapi tak bisa menyebut nama-nama aneh dari para hobbit.

Ada yang ingat siapa pemenang MTV Most Favorite Actress tahun lalu? Film terbaik Oscar tahun 2000? Mentri Luar Negri jaman Gus Dur?

Sudah lupa? Bukankah peristiwa itu belum lama berlalu? Tidak sampai 10 tahun berlalu.

Tapi… hei, siapa yang tak ingat nama sahabat kita semasa SD? Teman bermain kita? Bahkan teman bertengkar kita? Siapa yang kita ingat ketika kita pergi jauh? Siapa yang kita ingat ketika kita senang atau sedih? Itulah “Orang Penting” yang sebenarnya bagi kita, orang- orang di sekeliling kita. Mereka inilah yang paling mempengaruhi kehidupan kita. Itulah yang dinamakan fellowship, persekutuan, sebuah pertalian yang sangat erat antar beberapa orang.

Dengan siapakah kita membentuk persekutuan? Mengapa sebuah persekutuan bisa terbentuk? Barangkali karena kesamaan kesenangan, kesamaan visi, kesamaan tujuan, seperti Frodo dan teman- temannya. Dalam sebuah persekutuan yang sehat, tiap anggota akan saling memperhatikan kepentingan anggota yang lain, bahkan mungkin ikut membelanya mati-matian. Sebaliknya sebuah persekutuan yang buruk anggotanya tidak saling mendukung, saling menyalahkan, saling mementingkan egonya sendiri – sendiri.

Ingat bagaimana dituliskan dalam Alkitab:

Karena itu jika satu anggota menderita, semua anggota turut menderita: jika satu anggota dihormati, semua anggota turut bersuka cita. (1 Kor 12:26)

Sebuah persekutuan yang sehat dan saling mendukung akan membuat orang lain kagum dan respect, sedangkan persekutuan yang lemah, selain tidak mendatangkan manfaat bagi para anggotanya sendiri, juga tidak akan dapat mempengaruhi orang- orang sekitarnya.

It takes two to make a relationship work, and only one to break them apart, begitu kata pepatah. Sebuah pertalian membutuhkan kerjasama semua pihak, tapi akan putus jika hanya satu saja darinya menyerah. Karena itu Tuhan Yesus mengatakan bahwa yang terpenting dari seluruh kehidupan pertalian/persekutuan adalah saling mengasihi, karena tidak semua orang bisa berkotbah, tidak semua mampu mengupas tentang doktrin – doktrin, tidak semua mampu menggubah nada- nada yang indah, tidak semua hidup berlimpah ruah, tidak semua memiliki keluarga yang sempurna, tapi yang penting semua saling mendukung dan mengasihi, saling berbagi, dan terus bersekutu.

Aku memberikan perintah baru kepada kamu, yaitu supaya kamu saling mengasihi; sama seperti AKu telah mengasihi kamu demikian pula kamu harus saling mengasihi. Dengan demikian semua orang akan tahu, bahwa kamu adalah murid- murid-Ku, yaitu jikalau kamu saling mengasihi.

Jadi sudahkah kita cukup saling mengasihi, sehingga kita selalu rindu bersekutu?

Sudahkah kita cukup saling mengasihi, sehingga kita bisa saling membantu?

Ataukah kita sekelompok manusia- manusia egois yang berusaha saling mengungguli?

Apakah orang lain sudah dapat melihat indahnya kehidupan bersekutu kita? Indahnya orang- orang yang bergereja? Hingga mereka juga bisa melihat indahnya kasih Allah memancar dari persekutuan kita? Sebuah kelompok yang memberikan cahaya terang benderang pada sekelilingnya, terang yang menenangkan, yang memberikan kenyamanan.

-Love each other-

BROKEN BRIDGE

Posted on July 25, 2007 by altbug.
Categories: dreams.

I had a dream last night, I was hiking a mountain.

First I approach the mountain from a vast meadow covered with colourful wild flowers. Green, white, yellow, red, all spread on the meadow with random sprawl. It was calming the way the breeze swept the meadow, making those grasses and wild flowers dance. My heart found relaxation in that meadow.

The sun was high when I finally decide to leave the meadow and go into the forrest. The forrest was deep and full of live. The trees was old, big, and in many rays of green. Some orchids hangs here and there up on those trees, as if it seeks the sun rays that showers through the thick branches of leaves. Exotic birds that I don’t know the name of fly from one tree to another. Some strange sounds came to my ears. It was strange but not frightening. It is the sound of many animals mix with the sound of the wind that goes trough the trees. I was overwhelmed.

I wanted to become the wind and stroll trough that deep forrest, touching and carressing all of the trees, playing with all the birds. I want to fly up above those old trees and dive down to the moss covered ground. The forrest was a misty mistery filled with live. There was alomst no difference between night and days there. It was like forever is frozen still.

The forrest ended at a stretch of cliff. It was a deep cliff and there was a wooden bridge tied with ropes run accross that cliff towards a plateau on the other side. The golden rays of the morning sun made some strange plays of shadows and light to the cliff’s wall. I cross that bridge. The wind blew very hard while I was on that bridge, it made the bridge swings. I was worried, yet excited.

But then a lightning struck and burn that bridge, I ran as fast as I can to the other end, and when I reach that end, the bridge had completely broken and burnt. I looked accross and see the forrest and I was very sad. I couldn’t go back to that forrest and the meadow behind it. I couldn’t go back.

I wept, I didn’t know how long I wept, but the sun was high when the breeze swept my cheeks. The breeze gently swept my face and my hair, and it was like it also gently turn me around towards the mountain behind me. Then I realize, as if I was concious for the first time in that journey. I was standing there, on a plateau of white rocks, and it was surrounded with high rocks that stood like a huge white wall. I was mesmerized. There at one end of those walls was some pine trees standing like fences…. and there was stairs climbs up the wall starting from those line of trees. The sun was shining right to the stairs it almost made it glow.

I stepped forward slowly, and the image of the broken bridge, and the forrest, and the meadow was behind me, slowly dissapear into the fog. The mountain was glowing in a soothing white radiance, drawing me near. I started to climb the first step….and the breeze blew once again, carrying the sound of the birds. I close my eyes to treasure that moment.

And I woke up. I was in my room. It was five in the morning, and I can see the dark blue sky turning brighter from my window.

And the breeze blew trough my window, carrying the sound of the birds. They whispered to me,
‘Welcome to a new day’

That very morning, the rays of the not yet rising sun warmth my heart and bring life again in my soul.

kelam

Posted on July 21, 2007 by altbug.
Categories: poems.

kelam

dapatkah matahari menyinari dasar samudra

dapatkah berkas- berkas sinarnya

      menyentuh dasar perutnya

dapatkah kehangatannya

      menghidupkan kekelaman jantungnya

bilakan dapat,

      dimanakah akan aku teriakkan rahasia?

B A R R E N

Posted on July 20, 2007 by altbug.
Categories: poems.

Barren

Parched by the sun

Drenched by the rain

Blown by the wind

There……..

, yet forgotten

Rest in Secrecy

Posted on by altbug.
Categories: poems.

Rest in Secrecy

make me deaf

I will listen with my eyes

make me blind

I will see with my senses

make me mute

I will shout with my life

shed my blood

I will live forever

in your mind

in your heart

I am deaf

I am blind

I am mute

I am dead

yet I will speak

let’s dance

Posted on by altbug.
Categories: poems.

Let’s Have This Dance

listen,

the wall is crumbling

the storm is roaring

the earth is shaking

hark!

there’s a music playing

far beyond our fears

far beyond our doubts

far beyond our adversities

there’s a time to mourn

there’s a time to dance

let’s have this dance

Drifter

Posted on by altbug.
Categories: poems.

Drifter

what a great day today

the north wind is blowing

the sun send it’s golden ray

people sending friendly smile

somehow

so many doors I haven’t open

so many path I haven’t take

this is not the time to stay

nor the time to settle down

but then again

when is the time?